tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38166212011-04-21T18:25:14.348-07:00this is random funny shit stolen from the best political and common-interest satire publication ever.olihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02498124550716732205noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3816621.post-822060122002-09-27T12:40:00.000-07:002002-09-27T12:56:47.000-07:00GO TO THE REAL SITE @ <a href="http://www.private-eye.co.uk"> private-eye.co.uk </a> <br /><i> private eye is a very contreversial political magazine in Briatin. and it rules. in some section of the print, they expose various weird stuff that goes on within Briatin, and mainly, British politics. this is funny shit <p> nb: they may also be nicked from other stuff. sorry.</i> <br /><p> <br /><p> <br /><h2> DUMB BRITAIN </h2> <br />(dumb fucking idiots) <br /><p> <br />The Weakest Link, BBC1/2 <br /> <br />Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? <br />Contestant: Bombay. <br /> <br />Brainy Mechanic quiz, RI:SE, C4 <br /> <br />Presenter: Which mountain range separates France and Spain? <br />Brainy Mechanic: The Himalayas. <br /> <br />Afternoon Show, BBC Radio Bristol <br /> <br />Steve Yabsley: What’s the highest mountain in the UK? <br />Contestant: Mount Etna. <br /> <br />Fifteen to One, Channel 4 <br /> <br />Q: Which mobile phone company has the slogan “The future’s bright, the future’s orange?” <br />A: Virgin. <br /> <br />DUMB AMERICA <br /> <br />The Weakest Link, NBC <br /> <br />Anne Robinson: Which European capital city is served by Charles de Gaulle airport? <br />Contestant: Britain. <br /><p> <br /><h2>CLICHE-WATCH </h2> <br />(it's the new black) <br /><p> <br />“Angling is the new yoga.” -- Sam Murphy, Sunday Times, 2 June. <br />“Green: it’s the new black.” -- Caroline Roux, Guardian, 8 June <br />“Fat will never be the new black.” -- David Wastell, Sunday Telegraph, 23 June. <br />“Science… is the new rock’n’roll.” -- David Lister, Independent, 25 June. <br />“Croatia… is the new Tuscany.” -- Clare Stewart, the Times, 12 July. <br />“Religion is the new rock’n’roll.” -- Paul Colgan and Aine Ryan, Sunday Times, 28 July. <br /><p> <br /><h2> LOOKALIKES </h2> <br /><p> <br /><img src="http://www.private-eye.co.uk/images/look1063.jpg"> <br />uncanny, even if i do say so myself. <br /><p> <br /><h2> COLEMANBALLS </h2> <br /><p> <br />“Football’s like a big market place, and people go to the market every day to buy their vegetables...” <br />SIR BOBBY ROBSON, Channel 5 News <br /><br> <br />“Coming next -- the music you’d like to hear at your funeral.” <br />ANDY ARCHER, BBC Radio Norfolk <br /><br> <br />“Israel’s population has grown by over 20% in the last ten years. Meanwhile, the Palestinian population is exploding.” <br />ALAN JOHNSTONE, BBC World Service <br /><p> <br /><h2> WAR BALLS </h2> <br /><p> <br />“The events of 11 September have had a huge impact on our lives,” a press release from Ikea declares, reporting its survey of 1,000 people across the United States. Huge is indeed the word for its findings, which conclude with the following league tables: “Top 5 Rooms in the Home that Comfort People the Most <br />Since 11 September: living room; family room/den; bedroom; kitchen; dining room. Top 10 Items in the Home that Comfort People the Most Since 11 September: pictures of family and friends; couch; entertainment center; bed; chair; candles, candlesticks; kitchen table; home office; plants; blanket.” So now we know, thanks to Ikea’s selfless research: since 11 September, Americans have not been comforted by their bathrooms. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3816621-82206012?l=dayzeye.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>olihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02498124550716732205noreply@blogger.com